Not who you think you’re supposed to be or who someone else decided you are, but the actual you. I was reminded the other day about an old all-day meeting, conference-type event, where I coaxed a co-worker of mine into introducing ourselves to a senior exec at our client site. Now this co-worker knew her stuff, I mean down to the ground, but she was always hesitant about making initial moves. Others noted it as being her whole personality but I knew they were wrong. So here goes me and my ‘I don’t give a damn’ self and I nudge her along to face the exec. I didn’t do it…
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Why You Don’t Need To Make Your Goal Too Damn Big
So let’s not immediately think about quitting. How about we resize? As in, resize down for a bit. Now, shooting for the moon is one thing, excellent even, but trying to actually consume it is utter delulu. I used to be 100% guilty of this. Now I’m down to 35%… still a work in progress, but progress still. I’m a person with lofty-arse goals. Random ideas, notes written, typed and voiced in a million different places. My mind is like a thousand open, overstuffed filing cabinets and gigabytes of storage drives with no limits. My name is IreneB and I approve this message. It’s just how my mind works. She…
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Your Life Is Not Public Property: Keep Things Private
How did we stumble into thinking being open was the same as being accessible? You are allowed to keep things private. Especially as women. We’re constantly encouraged to “share our story,” “be authentic,” “show up as your true self,” and apparently that also means to yell into the internet about what we ate for breakfast, retell the story about keying an ex’s car that we told our therapist, and exactly what we’re doing with the rest of our lives. Umm… no. And that’s allegedly keyed an ex’s car. A lot of what’s happening or has happened in our lives should be kept private. Or, at the most, kept within our…
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Be Less Helpful: Goodbye to People-Pleasing
Huh? What? Yep, I can see you all already, through the internet even, head shaking, face scrunched up, like ‘IreneB, are you OK? This sounds bloody awful? I wasn’t raised that way!’ I get it. Neither was I. But times they are a changing… to quote Bob Dylan. Get with it. Be less helpful. It sounds and feels hella mean, like I’m actively working to sway the good people of the world into becoming the terrible ones. The ones who not only watch but take pleasure in watching others struggle, complete with a side of hot, buttery popcorn as they do it. No. I still and will always believe in…
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The Beauty In Actively Creating A Good And Slower Life
It’s summer. And yes, I love, love, love, summer. But 2026 summer? She gots to go! There’s hot and then there’s 2026 balls-and-boob-sweat hot… and it’s everywhere. The globe is basically boiling, and honestly, moving quickly right now feels like a personal attack. The ‘prison-style shank’ kind of attack. On too many days these past few months, walking outside feels like stepping into Satan’s pizza oven. We’re done, we’re crispy, yet someone keeps turning up the dial. For the love of God, turn it off! Then only to have to dip into an office building or store, and in under three seconds after sliding through the doors, we’re held hostage…
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Over Explaining: When Being Clear Turns Into Begging
I have always considered myself a pretty clear person. No tap-dancing around an issue or request, but not brutally clear either, I’m not the kind of person who walks into a room, drops a verbal grenade, and then calls it “well, I’m just being honest.” I literally can’t stand the way some deliver that response. There’s a difference between being direct and being downright disrespectful. But I also don’t think you should need to channel a psychic, decode ancient hieroglyphics, or hire a professional translator to figure out what I mean. I’m pretty sure if I say something, I have actually said something. With words and in English. Wild concept, I know.…
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Big Age, Bigger Growth | Episode 03: It’s OK to Disappoint People
Quick Post, Real Reminder Separating your people into categories sounds a little calculating. Maybe even slightly evil. But honestly? I don’t give a toss (toss – UK term for don’t give a diddly-damn). At this stage of life, I think it’s more than warranted. One of the hardest lessons in Big Age is realizing that not everyone around you, and not everyone who has access to you, deserves all of you. Some people are in your life until the wheels fall off. Others are there for a season or a reason. Watch out for the season-and-reason folks. Spot them and place them where they need to be. I mean, seriously,…
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You Need A Bigger World: How To Stop Letting Small Stuff Consume You
That statement, or idea, might seem too simple on paper, but give me a few minutes to explain what I mean. Then you can go ahead and poo-poo it if it still doesn’t fit. Think of that feeling when you’re stuck. Like you’re not making progress, not even a little bit. Or worse, you feel completely out of control. Your mind starts drifting into places it has no business being, and before you know it, you’ve become consumed by someone else’s foolishness. OK, I’ll give you an example of my own. I planned to edit a key chapter. Or maybe it was a blog post, or a note, even. I’d…
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The Machine Is Learning: Let’s Make Sure We Don’t Stop
Who remembers books? Just kidding! But also… not really.That mystical dimension before everything started finding us and we actually had to go looking for things. On the daily, I say something either out loud or just to me, within earshot of my phone, iPad, or laptop, and here goes my tech, serving up ads, articles, and videos of that thing to me all day long. I know the first few times that happened years ago, I probably thought it was luck. Nowadays we all know our devices are intentionally listening to us. Annoyingly so. Intrusively, even. And not to help us but to sell to us. And by ‘sell,’ I…
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Andropause? Suddenly Menopause Doesn’t Sound So Lonely
When the “Man-Flashes” Enter the Chat Ladies, Babes, Luvs, we need to talk… and now! I don’t know where I’ve been, but only recently did some little internet birdies clue me into the fact that something called andropause exists. Andropause? What’s andropause, you say? In the simplest of words: Menopause for men, kinda. Not gonna lie, I did smirk a little. OK, beam with cheshire-cat full glee. We women, damn near since birth, have had all kinds of shit piled on us. Coming out of nowhere is what it feels like. Jumping us. Sneak-attacking us. Sliding in like skid marks. One minute we’re playing as equals with the boys, then…
