When my daughter turned 18, it reminded me of something simple but easy to forget: big birthdays are automatic milestones. They come with balloons, dinners, photos, and all the “you’re grown now, woohoo” speeches. There are umpteen scripts for turning 13 through 25 — the OG markers of independence, responsibility, and new beginnings.
But guess what: milestones don’t just belong to the kiddos.
Sure, we still celebrate those over 30 birthdays with or without parties with 40-deep friends, or sheet cakes full of candles; but it’s a combo of ‘yeah, you’ve made it another year and we love you’ — yet, unless we actively choose it, we don’t tie it to a big life change. Like a 30th, 40th, or 50th birthday, for example, due to the fact that there’s nothing really new we’re now able to do, or that’s been unlocked. We can still drink alcohol, drive, vote, the things that come with legal rights or rites of passage. And of course, we can still pay all those bloody bills. Can we not get a week off at say, when we turn a new decade? I mean a little to really celebrate the next ten years… something!
We need a center stage for these milestones just much as the others
Maybe as we celebrate these Big Age milestones we reflect more, become more intentional, and review where we are, and to make a change if we need to.
Big birthdays, bigger lessons
Maybe our Big Age milestones look like re-examining questions such as:
- Should we be starting a new job, career or solopreneur business ‘thing‘, taking a leap into something else that scares us?
- Can we shift some things around to start paying off debt or finally find stability after years of scrambling?
- Are we ready now to work more intently on our health, physically and mentally, and embrace better habits for our longevity?
- Is now the time to start walking away from relationships, jobs, or habits that actually harm us?
- No longer thinking but actually learning a skill we once thought was out of reach?
- Healing from something you thought would always define you.
I’ll probably not be able to find the coolest hashtags or highlight reels to go with these, but that doesn’t matter. These milestones are still about growth and proof that we’re still evolving, still making choices, and best of all, still creating new beginnings at every age.
When my youngest turned 18, this parallel slapped me in the face. She’s my baby, no more turning 18 after her, and while she’s just stepping into her possibilities, I’m still stepping into mine too.
Stepping into our possibilities
And even if our culture doesn’t always applaud adult wins the way it does the under-25, traditional ones, who cares? No one throws a humongous party because you finally left a toxic job, booked your first solo trip at 50, or gave yourself permission to pause and start over at 40. But that’s exactly why we should.
Who else gets to decide that these moments — the ones that reshape us, free us, or open new doors — deserve the same joy and attention as a birthday milestone? You, me, us… that’s who!
We don’t outgrow milestones. They simply change shape. Much like the rest of us. If you know, you know.
Claiming milestones at every age
As my daughter turned 18 and at my next birthday I’ll turn, 18 x 2, carry the one, no, wait… 18 x 3…, well you get the idea, I’m not letting any birthday slide past without really reflecting on my Big Age milestones. To not shrink the significance of what it means to choose myself (yourself), at any age, stage, or season.
I made certain to celebrate my 50th exactly how I wanted, at home (London), then off to Portugal (beach-time). Staring at any ocean both immediately calms me and then gets my brain thinking on wild levels. It’s grounding, makes me reflect, and so is truly one of my happy places.
Thinking recently of my friend’s 50th, she was gushing during her party and the following day in my house, how it went even better than she’d imagined. Dancing, dinner, delicious cake, and all!
Now, here’s my nudge — for me, you, her, and for anyone reading this: don’t wait for the world to clap for you, or cheer you with champagne. I mean, it would be lovely if it did, but it’s high time to celebrate yourself. Loudly. Toast the wins, however small. Light the candle. Take the photos (plural). Let it matter and show that it matters.
Milestones keep coming… hopefully
And yes, I’ll gladly take balloons, cake, and hashtags if someone wants to hand them out — but I won’t wait for it or them. My Big Age milestones deserve their spotlight, too. And I can make that happen for me.
Life is long, layered, and generous with its turning points. If we’re doing it right, and if we’re lucky, we’ll have milestones worth celebrating at 18, 21, 40, 80, and beyond.
