Would You Still Sign Today?
You know those terms and conditions that come with a new phone, laptop, tech, or shiny piece of equipment you want so bad? The ones that are about 50,000 pages long, damn near blurry, so that nobody actually or fully reads them?
The first few scrolls of information start off pretty straightforward, clear, and engaging and so most of the time, we just continue the scroll to the bottom and willingly click “Accept.”
Not because we agree wholeheartedly with everything or that we’re so comfortable with every condition. But because if we want the thing, then that’s the only option.
And in thinking about it, how many things in life work exactly the same way?
The ‘Ships
Relationships, friendships, situationships, partnerships, job-ships. Messy, I know, but I had to.
Sometimes we can get so focused on what that opportunity, what that something could become that we barely look at what it actually is, when the terms and conditions were always right there in front of us. Terrifying, even—when you realise what you’ve been sitting in.
From the person who never follows through. The friend who only calls when they need something. The job that already has us exhausted before we’ve even settled in. To the once enticing opportunity that requires us to twist ourselves into impossible knots to make it fit.
Then, at some point, we finally see it all, but we tell ourselves it will get better.
If I do this and if they do that, and if I give it more time and if I try a little harder, how is the end result not going to be better?
So we do that. Over and over, even when it refuses to stick.
Future-Faking Fiasco
I’m now certain that the crux of the problem is us starting and continuing on with building this fanciful future version in our heads and evaluating everything against that instead of what is actually sitting in front of us today.
Current clarity? Oh so, right.
And so if we were honest, there were a few too many things we would have said no to from the start if we’d taken a closer look at the actual fine print right in front of us the entire time.
But Buck up, Buttercup!
To me, in my Big Age, there’s always good news when it comes to these particular ships, even if that good news comes in the form of a stinging lesson.
The good news being that just because you didn’t say no then doesn’t mean you can’t say no now.
Think about that phone sitting in your hand as an example. I know looking at my current older model that it’s acting up here and there. Yet the thought of jumping to a newer one, the next shinier version, has me more than a bit paused.
It’s not that I’m going to stay stuck and keep this one forever. I just want better.
Nothing is guaranteed just because it’s written down and you’ve read all 50,000 pages, but I want to better understand what I’m getting into, what I’m OK tolerating, and where my get-out clause lies.
Maybe if I’d dug into every term and condition, I never would have bought it. Or maybe I still would have moved forward but watched for signs sooner. Or maybe I would have chosen something else altogether.
But once you own it, you’re not obligated to keep it forever and a day.
And yes, some things aren’t so easy to bail on. But you can change your mind about how you see them.
The same applies to a lot of things in life.
- You can change your approach.
- You can decide it no longer works for you.
- You can walk away.
- You can choose better. Happier, even. Maybe the version of your new Ts and Cs with a little more colour in it.
Time invested doesn’t automatically make something worth keeping. Neither does effort and damn sure not history.
Sometimes the wisest thing we can do is look at something as it exists today and ask ourselves a simple question:
If I was seeing these terms and conditions for the very first time right now, would I still sign?
Not based on the future I hope for or the potential of who or what it could become.
But solely based on what it actually is today. Eyes wide open.
Sometimes the answer will be yes. Sometimes, no.
Maybe the real question isn’t whether you should have said no back then, but whether you’re willing to say it now.
