And may include bigger closets!
My youngest is off to college, so my nest is officially… empty-ish. I’m not sad about “no longer being a mom” as that job is forever mine. And I’m definitely not in the “phew, I’m done, go solve your own damn problems, kiddos” camp either. It’s more like a shift: a new season of cheering on my mini-adults… while remembering to show up for myself, too.
Now I 2,000% will be threatening (lovingly) to turn their bedrooms into my extended closets. Their trophies and school knickknacks can stay, but only as quirky and cool dividers between my shoes and boots. Thanks for the suggestion, S’MAC’! You should’ve seen the horror on their faces as I set the new décor scene. I laughed and laughed. My babes are used to my humor. Seriously, I not only love my kiddos, I really like them too and tell them that as often as I can. I know they’ll be back. They’re always back, because they’ll always be welcome home.
But I’m also focused on seeing this new stage as the hopefully little more chill, part of the world’s most expensive, loving, stressful, funny, and yet often thankless hood known to man… parenthood. And speaking as their ‘forever Mum’, I get to fully be the advice-and-support version of myself. Advice and support they can take or decide to roll the dice and go rogue. Now, will this all come with some yelling? Ab-So-Bloody-Lutely. Everything can’t change, now that would be insane. They’ll still call or text for a resolve to life’s more serious decisions, knowing I’ll always have their back, as well as their random, and always ridiculous, ‘panic’ reach-outs:
“Mum, should I get the blue one or the black one?”
“Mum, do you think this chicken is still good?”
“Mum, it’s urgent! Did dad change the HBO password, it isn’t working again! Mum, Mum, you there?!”
I roll my eyes, laugh, and continue to truly love these moments. Then wait a few minutes before responding… just to heighten the experience. Ssh, you never heard that.
Sure, I’ll now have to get used to missing seeing my youngest every day, with it feeling like I just went through this with her big sis. And the whirlwind of emotions is already stacking up to hit me soon, often, and hard. But as before, I’ll regroup knowing neither of them are far, and they’ll be back soon enough to *procure* something from the homestead that I’ll drive myself crazy looking for. Then I’ll thank my Ring cameras for returning my sanity, as I watch these #StraightUpThieves* exit with stuff they never came in with.
And like her big sis, my little one won’t be too far, and she’s doing exactly what we (her dad and I) hoped she would — off to college, for the triple-E… education, experience and excitement.
We’re glad she’s getting to do it, and we hope it’s more than she ever expected. This isn’t *the* next chapter; it’s just *a* next chapter. Like any good story, it’ll have a few twists, a few turns, and maybe a surprise plotline or fifty. She’ll handle those — or we will, if and when she needs us.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, relearning how to cook for two is on deck. And let me tell you, halving seasonings just ‘aint natural. Plus, the kiddos have argued against this. They claim their random pop-ups with masses of empty plastic containers in hand make such a drastic change unnecessary.
Am I going to grant their wish? Who knows. Will I continue to send out the “Dinner’s ready!” text, or forgetfully yell it out to none of my kiddos? Probably. Sigh.
Utility Bills Down, Snack Stash Up
On the upside, our electricity, gas, food, and especially the water bill will finally breathe a deep, deep, sigh of relief. Let’s hope my kid’s roommate is as understanding. I seriously doubt it. But as I won’t be living in that two-by-four cell, aka, college dorm room — that’s most certainly not my problem.
I know many of you are busy driving or flying your kiddos halfway across the country or world, so you’re in a whole other head spin, but you still did it, too. And whether it’s off to college (large or small), trade school, an apprenticeship, taking a gap year, or in a volunteer position— big, big congratulations to all! You deserve ALL PATS ON BACKS! As you move through this change, with me having done it once already, all you can do is just take as many deep breaths are needed. Besides being there, the only other things we as parents/family can do is: plan, push through, pray for the best, and keep moving forward.
And How? By Putting Those Worries Into Some Other Best Parts
What best parts, you say? This new phase on both ends, your kiddos and yours. The change created isn’t just physical in our homes, it’s in our life. It’s a gap we get to fill with all the things we said we’d do “one day.” Well, it looks like “one day” is today.
So, to my fellow empty nesters: this is your now.
- Rediscover what makes you, you.
- Start that passion project.
- Eat out more.
- Sleep in more.
- Redo your workout routine.
- Take the class.
- Go on the trips — plural.
- Become more active in your communities.
- Help out neighbors or strangers seeking it (we all see the world around us, right?)
Try all the new things until you find the ones you love — then start over again, and again.
