In 2025, I tweaked too hard. As in editing and re-editing—because perfection got the better of me. And I know good and well: perfection is the bitchiest bitch in Bitchville.
Enter: The Beta-Reader draft
It’s 2026 and I’m in the phase called editing the next draft of my book, also known as the beta-reader draft. Insert quiet internal screaming.
My 2024 word of the year, COMPLETE, stretched across two years and wrapped damn near at 10:21:09 PM on New Year’s Eve. I was grateful, giddy, and fully aware I could not tweak this print baby any more. It needed new, fresh reader eyes.
Beta Readers: Those exciting, terrifying humans
A few years ago, I’d never even heard the term beta readers. Once I learned what they actually do, it felt like I was handing over my work and risking my original vision.
As a new writer without a massive following, I’m where many first-time authors are, lucky enough to have friends and family willing to read and review my work. Four of them, to be exact. All solid readers who give honest critique.
So yes, the mix of excitement, curiosity, and night-sweat dread before, during, and after they read it is very real to me.
The one who loves me enough to be ‘Ratchet-Brutal’
My sister is one of them. She has perfect calligraphy handwriting. I’m the sister whose handwriting looks like it was delivered by a dead left foot holding a dried-out marker between its crusty, gnarly toes.
When I take handwritten notes, if I leave them for more than 24-hours, and come back to review them, even I’m like “For fucksakes, what the heck does this shit say, Irene!”
My sister has even less reason to hold back. “Tough love” isn’t the term I’d use for her. “Benevolent-dictatorship-love” fits her better. And honestly, the other three are hardly Mary Poppins themselves. Hmm, what do ego-crushing bruises look like? Well, buckle up, Irene, cause you’re about to find out!
So while I’m genuinely grateful for their kindness, I’ll also be quietly spiraling from their feedback. My Big-Age Big-Girl knickers are pulled up high and are on tight for this ride. I’ll take it all in, even if there’s a ton of snot-crying involved.
Polishing vs. procrastinating
This is the necessary before stage. Before it ever goes to a copy editor.
I could feel myself crossing the line between polishing and procrastinating again. Fixing obvious spelling or grammar issues is a given. Major storyline changes or deep cuts, though, had me mentally visualizing a dramatic run through the woods, naked and screaming.
Clearly just visualizing. Because me, naked, in the woods? Absolutely not.
Lessons in being still
What I’m learning in this waiting phase is a new level of humility. Letting people see your work before it feels ready, but not ready-ready, is uncomfortable. Almost itchy.
At some point, this point for me, you have to stop trying to control every possible reaction and let the feedback do its job.
So this is how I calmed the spiral. I set a clear stopping point. Downed my writing tools. My print baby isn’t perfect, but it’s clean, readable, and exactly where I want it right now.
This draft isn’t the final version. It’s the conversation starter.
So here it goes, I’m trusting the process. Letting the right no-sugar-coating people in, and accepting that growth often comes not from polish, but from honest reflection by those who also want you to succeed.
Deep breaths… deep breaths… and more deep breaths.
