I would like to begin by saying: I bloody love my beta readers!
I love them deeply, respectfully, and with tons of gratitude sprinkles, smothered in whipped cream, strawberry syrup, and more sprinkles on top.
Not only did I ask them, but I chose them specifically for their brilliance. They’re a bunch of well-rounded babes. Frequent international travelers, educated, fun-loving, solid readers, deep-thinkers… all the things. And they are reading my paper-baby for the grand total of free-99. And why? Because I am both on and driving the struggle bus in this newbie author process — aka I’m poor.
They’re doing it on the limited free time they have. In between jobs, children, relationships, and the general chaos of being alive in 2026, all 400-ish pages of it that I already knew needed to be cut down.
And yet… knowing all that, internally I’m like… “Why are these Hoochie-Mamas not done yet?!”
I know. I know. The audacity of me, right? I’m a literal monster!
Now, one of my beta readers — my rockstar, if you will — knocked out her task like a champ!
#MitziMagic✨.
But Les Others… and I will protect their names for now… so we’ll call them… oh, I dunno, Pam, Pristen, and Pridget — I sent my manuscript off at the same time as MitziMagic, with the same tender instruction: “No rush at all! Really, you’re doing me a solid!”
Now, 400 years later… I’m like…
- Did they stop at Chapter 13… or even earlier?
- Are they confused? Where? How?
- Are they bored? Shit.
Or did they block me and I don’t realize it yet, like Bruce Willis in The Sixth Sense?
Each day, I check our group WhatsApp like I’m waiting for medical results. The ones where you have no clue what you’ll get back, but you still want them.
That’s literally the wildest part. I don’t even know what I’m waiting for. Because when their feedback comes, I will:
- Panic.
- Overanalyze the punctuation of their text message.
- Pretend to be super chill.
- Not be at all chill.
Right now, I’m in the sweet delulu stage with the little feedback I’ve received so far:
“So far, I’m enjoying it!”
“I really like the dynamic of the friendships!”
Or my sister with her… “Wait, is there a murder in this?” Oh mon dieu!!! 🫢
Therefore, my manuscript still lives in the land of “potential masterpiece.” Big-Age sigh of relief released… temporarily, anyway.
Once they respond, everything becomes real.
- Notes will exist.
- Opinions will exist.
- Highlighted and red-penned sections will be sharply visible.
And I asked for this. Specifically asked and recruited these saints. But the waiting… oh, the waiting is its own special psychological experiment.
Big-Age Patience is required here, and I’m fresh out, bruv.
Of course, I want them to take their time. Rushing will only lead to errors or half-baked feedback. I really and truly want my character arc validation — but also, “Move ya bloomin’ arse!”
But the real reason I can’t wait is because their feedback is gonna be so good! Insightful, making me go, “Ohh, I didn’t think of that!” and essentially making my work (aka me) better. ❤️💕
Anyhoo. If you are one of my beta readers and somehow reading this instead of my manuscript —
Know that I love you.
Please hydrate.
Because thoughtful readers are slow on purpose. At times.
And also… kindly, hurry the hell up!
Respectfully. 💖
