“Big Age” is a funny term I heard from many sources, definitely not one I made up myself, but I’ll definitely keep using. But people throw it around as if it’s a milestone you suddenly wake up to. Like, congratulations, you’ve hit an age—a Big Age—where society expects you to have it all figured out. Career, relationships, money, personal growth—the whole checklist. And yet, here you are, still figuring things out, still wondering if you’re aligned with the life you’re living, especially in this second chapter of ours. Most of us still are, and don’t panic, that’s really not a bad thing. Being in your “Big Age” isn’t about having…
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The Truth About “Catching Up”
And Why I Quit Trying. I used to foolishly believe that if I could just clear my to-do list, I’d finally feel caught up. But I was only clearing it up to make space for the next stack of to-dos, and the next and the next. Another work email to answer, another post to write, another idea I swore I’d get to once “things slowed down.” The older I get, the bigger the backlog seems to fill up, in all things. Half-written blog drafts. Unread books. Old voice memos with “brilliant ideas” I’d never started. And the work and family stuff is too mammoth to even mention. The lists, plural,…
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When A Perfect First Date Turned Sour Over Steak
(A short story by Irene B.) Remi wasn’t superstitious, but when she realized this was date number seven, she decided to give the universe one last shot. Seven was supposed to be lucky, right? So far, though, luck had been upside down and flat on its ass. There was open-mouthed chewer Curtis, who launched a piece of moist cornbread straight from his gums and onto the edge of her bread plate. It dangled next to the very piece she’d been eager to try, but that was now ruined. Curtis had shared during a video chat that he’d had his tonsils out in his 30s, a revelation she had initially found…
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The Key to Knowing What Others Really Value…
So You Can Act Accordingly Honest mistakes aside. Way, waaay, over to the side. If someone said to you “I’ll text you back” four weeks ago and never did… they didn’t forget. They chose something else. If they’re too “busy” for a five-minute check-in, that’s a clear decision they’ve made. And yeah, it feels personal, because it is. At any age but especially ours, here’s where to stop internalizing it as a flaw in your character, your worth, or ability to maintain relationships. It’s not you. When I miss a call or text from any of my peeps, and it happens often because … well, life and no one’s perfect,…
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How To Say “Oh, No, but Thanks”, When You Don’t Want To Do Something
I Don’t have to. Don’t desire to. Don’t need to. And said just like that. I can hear myself say it. Clear, crisp, firm. My kindest boundary. Being a Londoner, though I’ve lived in the USA for two decades now, occasionally I’ve had to explain to folks that my use of “sorry”, before I speak, isn’t what they think though it’s an easy mistake to make. I’m not walking around burdened by guilt and shame for every tiny misstep I make. And I don’t mean to speak for every Londoner, but it’s cultural and a term for an “Oops”. A version of “excuse me”. A filler word we throw in to keep things…
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I’ll Be the ‘Keep-the-Peace’ Person in My Next, Next Life
My friends, family, and the real-deal peeps in and around my life know who I am and that they can count on me. How?To show up.To work smarter and harder when needed.To be loving, trusting, helpful, considerate, etc., all with a hefty pour of humour that often goes too far. I love to laugh, especially at myself. Can’t stop. Won’t stop. I don’t need to convince anyone that I am a solid human being, complete with a multi-tab brain and a soft center. But let’s be real: invisible laser-cut daggers protect that soft center that, when tested, appears like a nightmare in your deepest slumber. I’ve long since purchased a…
