With the two-plus decades I’ve lived stateside, from across the merry ol’ pond, you’d think I’d be fully versed in American lingo, slang, and whatnot — at least among the amazing friends I’ve made during this time. Well, Luvs, you’d be seriously wrong.
So, what’s a girly like me to do? I fake it, yep… yep. Kinda-sorta.
The Scene
Picture it, Maryland, 2025, and I’m deep in convo, and all is going great. Injecting laughs, creating laughs, and getting the full picture until someone throws in a term or catchphrase from their yesteryear, and all of a sudden, the laughter, for me, grinds a little to a halt.
We got a lot of the shows in the UK. The Cosby Show, A Different World, Cheers, Dallas, Dynasty, The Golden Girls — you name all the big ones… and yet, I still find myself lost.
Panic hasn’t set in yet, because ha, I’m used to this, morphing into Dora the Explora and rolling out those context clues!
Now an imaginary flowchart has appeared in my head.
Can I recall something that was said that can help me?
- YES. Problem resolved… conversation free-flows on.
- NO. Did any of the extra hints they just dropped clear things up?
- YES. See bullet number 1.
- NO. Shit. Keep listening. Are things getting better or hella worse?
- HELLA WORSE. Double-shit!
My Reveal
At this point, my hands are up, and it’s time to come clean. Time to drop the act and admit I’m beyond lost, and just ask… “Wait, a fanny pack? Fanny what?!”—from my earlier years. AKA a bum bag. Don’t ask.
My friends laugh hard, too hard. Both at and with me, and all is good. My fake-grinning can’t hold up for too much longer. My clinging onto that conversation-lifeboat has come to an end. I’m Jack, not Rose. Cue Celine.
And honestly, when I finally drop the act…
Good Faking
My point? This is what I, at least, call ‘Good Faking.’ No one is harmed during my flowchart shenanigans — it’s just me buying time to catch up.
But at times, I can’t help thinking that my own little acts of faking might, in some way, echo the bigger ones happening all around us. I know they’re not the same, but what feels harmless, that quick “I’ll nod till I get it”, might look like a tiny version of a bad habit the world’s picked up. Except theirs isn’t about learning or trying to fit in; it’s about bending the truth until it fits — or until it’s quietly accepted.
Bad Faking
Then there’s good faking’s nasty-arse cousin, ‘Bad Faking.’ The kind people do to survive and protect themselves and only themselves. It’s not cute. Not for clarification, or to buy time to understand. It’s about pretending when they know the truth goes against them. They posture, outright lie, and keep stretching the lie so thin it no longer squeaks but screams.
The world we’re living in now, lies and liars just feel like part of normal conversation, like they’re almost expected. An agreement that we know they’re lies — but what are we gonna do or say to change anything?
So how do we get back to knowing what’s real and what’s right — to not just go along with the big fakers? How do we call it out in the moment, help others see it too, or at the very least see it for what it is — not dismiss it, and definitely not accept it?
Where It Lands?
The sad thing is, we’ve gotten used to the Bad Faking — AKA the loud lies. The spin, the pretending, that feels like it’s baked right into conversation now. But I don’t want to live in a world where fake (lies) feels so normal. Where lying is just “how it’s done.” Whether it’s from friends, family, and loved ones, or from our so-called fave personalities just because we remember how they used to be, or think we do, when of course, we never ever knew them.
So, here’s where I land: keep the Good Faking — the learning, laughing, and catching up. But nix the bad faking. Call it out and don’t let it sit at your table, in your friendships, or in your feed. You’re better than that.
