I know… weird title, right? But I was thinking about this the other day. Not feeling bad, or stuck, or even bored, but because I was pausing on finishing something minor, I knew I needed to do, and had the time to do it. In my case, it was crazy simple, like having to find some images for my already written posts, yet I was actively choosing not to do it.
Am I a dumb arse… maybe?
But the way my brain is wired, it got me thinking and examining, and rethinking why. Why was I choosing not to just do it, when there was zero reason holding me back or in my way? Was I being lazy? I mean I can be, but this time that wasn’t the case. But looking at it in big-picture fashion, if I wasn’t choosing to just get on and do this kinda-fun, not a heavy-lift task, had I also been not choosing other things, intentionally?
Not choosing is still a choice
Again, thinking big picture, not choosing your happiness is, say it with me, in fact, a choice. It may not feel like it. We might not even realize it (like I didn’t), yet it’s present and oh so quiet, lurking in the background. Maybe you’re afraid of the unknown, even if it’s a positive outcome and all it might bring your way. Maybe you’re sensitive to the reactions from the people around you, already weighing their judgment, lack of support, or silence when you truly would love nothing more than their support and encouragement. Or maybe you’ve convinced yourself that keeping your life, and everything around you, as they are, is easier and safer than pursuing your own joy.
And invoking Dan Levy’s character, David Rose, from the hilarious hit series Schitt’s Creek, I will say it thrice… because when you avoid prioritizing you, and in this instance your happiness, you’re still making a decision. The decision to disappoint yourself.
I’m going for it with the quotes today, but when thinking of others and taking their reactions into concern, the amazing actress Viola Davis, and her fabulous comment about disappointment, is ringing loud and true here:
“When it comes down to disappointing other people or disappointing yourself, choose other people all the time. It is your job in life to disappoint as many people as you can so you do not disappoint yourself.”–Viola Davis
You can either coddle their comfort or say fuck it, and move forward with your future. Which one do you want to live with?
Choosing your happiness doesn’t mean ignoring responsibilities, being selfish or becoming an utter arsehole. It means recognizing that your life is your own and that your joy is not optional, or something to keep pushing off until later. Choosing you, quite frankly, is your fuel. If you keep going without doing it, everything suffers in some aspect. Your health, relationships, and your desire to give your best to the world. And when later seems to come around, you’re probably drained or feel resentful, thinking back to the window of opportunity you missed when you were really ready.
On this Spinning Rock Called Earth
- You’re allowed to want different things.
- You’re allowed to change your mind, to go for something more aligned with you.
- And if it aligns with you but no one else, you’re allowed to do it anyway. Especially now in our second chapter.
Am I saying that we don’t need people in our corner—for advice, guidance, and cheering us on when we get tired? Not at all. I know I can’t get enough of that top-tier encouragement from my friends and fam. But when those voices aren’t there, or worse, when their “support” is laced with negativity, you still get to decide how you respond. How you choose.
What does it look like to stop making the decision not to choose happiness?
Gorgeously freeing… if I say so myself. IreneB.
It might look like setting a boundary with those who drain your energy. Finally signing up for the class you’ve been putting off for no good reason. Or even letting go of some version of yourself that only lived to actively go against you choosing your happiness.
Choosing happiness looks different for everyone, but the act of choosing, that’s what matters most.
