The very last time. Because it’s been 50–11 times now, so really, really… this is the last time. I love not only thinking about growth, but also actually growing. It’s not, nor will it ever be a perfectly straight path, but in my Big Age, the path is less curvy, less wobbly, and less riddled with self-inflicted obstacles. Paid to Learn, Paid to Leave “Lessons learned” at work is one thing. There’s more clarity there. You’ll do better with the time, budget, scope creep foolishness, or switch out the drama queen who contributed to the downfall. Simple. And believe me, I know there are those projects that will absolutely test…
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What Do You Love About the Way You
LookThink?I’ve been watching my brain lately… OK, wait… wait… hear me out. I haven’t completely lost it. I know you can’t literally watch a brain like how I watched—well, serial-inhaled—season 4 of Bridgerton, but honestly, I’m paying a heck of a lot more attention to my thoughts, and the way they feed into my reactions. And I’m loving it more and more. Too often before, my brain felt like a noisy, messy roommate that I couldn’t escape while we both worked from home… at the same company… on the same project. Now, in Big Age (and with nothing perfect, obviously), my brain is more like an enemies-to-lovers rom-com. Our beef has lessened, we…
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20 Sayings That Hit Different When You’re Growing Through Life
I hear quotes, sayings, words, and all the things any —and everywhere—in books, online, passing conversations, and some just land like solid 10. Think an Olympic gymnast who stuck the mat to screams and cheers. These sayings aren’t about hyping me up or giving me a big, gloating, bobble head. They’re more like nudges. Right-on-time ah-has, reminders, prompts, and a sprinkling of reality checks that stop me from derailing (too much), overthinking, or worse, shrinking when I shouldn’t. Spring is here. Homegirl finally parked the struggle bus, but she still needs a minute to fully step out from behind the curtain, and take center stage. We’ll give her a few…
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The Clocks Moved Forward. Now Let’s Hope the World Does Too
The clocks went forward on Sunday. Spring is coming. And the promise of spring isn’t just inching closer anymore. I’m ready, set, and going to revel in the longer days and warmer air on the horizon. Plus that itch to start planning good things again? It definitely needs a good scratch. And yet somehow, at the very same time, it feels like the world has taken 50-gabillion giant steps backwards. Tumbling into old, destructive patterns. Creating waves of chaos, fear, uncertainty, and tragic loss. With 24/7 social posts and news headlines making my head spin, my words curse, and all of us wondering how in the hell we ended up…
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How To Wait for Beta Reader Feedback Like A Lunatic
I would like to begin by saying: I bloody love my beta readers! I love them deeply, respectfully, and with tons of gratitude sprinkles, smothered in whipped cream, strawberry syrup, and more sprinkles on top. And yet, I am a monster. Not only did I ask them, but I chose them specifically for their brilliance. They’re a bunch of well-rounded babes. Frequent international travelers, educated, fun-loving, solid readers, deep-thinkers… all the things. And they are reading my paper-baby for the grand total of free-99. And why? Because I am both on and driving the struggle bus in this newbie author process — aka I’m poor. They’re doing it on the…
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Wintering Through Life: Planning, Pausing, and Unexpected Growth
Unless you’re lollygagging somewhere tropical and smug (you know who you are!), we – the rest of us are still wintering. The snow that got dumped on us these past weeks is still here. Move, Bitch, get out the way! Winter Is Still Winning So I cannot lull myself into letting one semi-decent, sunny day trick me into a fake emotional spring after ice-gate. Sure, the sun popped out a little longer than five minutes. High enough to shine but not heat anything up, so relax people, put your big coat back by the hook by the door, and humble yourself. That was just a teaser trailer of things to…
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Take Five Minutes for the Best Case Scenario
You know what we’re exceptionally good at as humans? And I am 1000% speaking to myself on this one too: I prepare for the absolute worst. Not always successfully, mind you, but still. And I don’t just mean casually thinking about it either — I mean fully preparing. Like studying for it, taking copious notes, then taking the metaphorical exam over and over until we ace it. Like that crazy-cakes level of preparation. Brace for Impact: Our Default Setting We mentally rehearse every possible outcome where things spectacularly and catastrophically fall apart, roll off a cliff, or land somewhere between going sideways and being hella awkward. At too many points…
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The Truth About Finishing Your Project After 40
Waaay after 40, and it wasn’t quick, I’ll tell you that for nothing. So let’s get that out of the way because not even I can start faking that I’m this disciplined creative woodland fairy type, who wakes up at 5 a.m. with a green juice in hand, and joy all over my face as I look over my easily completable checklist. Hell no. Half the time I wake up mad that my bed isn’t steps from a sunny beach, and even madder at my mum for having the nerve to raise me with stupid morals instead of the will to just go ahead and do something strange for a…
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100 Years of Black History Month: Gratitude, Legacy, and Love
February 2026 marks 100 years of formally celebrating Black history in the U.S.A whole century of finally saying out loud: this matters. And I just want to say to my Black American friends and fam’: thank you.For your friendship, your honesty, your humour, your patience…and for everything you’ve taught me — from the deep and meaningful…to driving on the wrong side of the road, or casually skipping the “U” in words. As a London girl with seasoned Ghanaian roots raising two beautiful Black tri-continental daughters, I’m always learning — and always in awe of the joy, brilliance, and strength that keeps showing up in you all… even now. IYKYK…Correction: IYDKWTAF! For this extra special month…
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What Happens When You Avoid the Feedback You Need
I don’t even have all the feedback yet. Just little tidbits. A few comments dropped casually over WhatsApp on the opening pages. A clarification here. A question there. A pause. A “Wait, what did you mean by…?” Enough to confirm a few things I was already side-eyeing, eye-rolling, and unhinged staring.Enough to make me feel a new kind of fear I didn’t even know about. Last week I wrote about sending my paper-baby, virgin novel, Forget The Fairytale, to my beta readers. Letting go. Resisting the urge to tweak my work to death, even though I didn’t have one more logical thing to give it. Giving it to other, yet trusted people and…
